The Birth of Audrey Isabelle

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The birth of my first child Julian left me wanting more from the birthing experience. Growing up, my mom was always the “crunchy” one. Having most of her children at home, she sometimes did it without the assistance of a midwife. When I got pregnant with my son I was open to the idea of a birth center birth but we were living in Biloxi, MS and there weren’t any close to the area. My birth with Julian was the typical cascade of interventions with me getting induced at 41 weeks. As I said, it left me wanting more as I felt very detached from the experience due to the epidural. Julian stayed in the NICU for 5 days due to meconium aspiration so I didn’t get the initial bonding I longed for either. When I got pregnant with Audrey I switched to a different OB, hoping that they would be more lenient about not inducing at 41 weeks (my family tends to run late). Although this OB was much nicer and personable, it was still very much a traditional “do everything” approach. When we got the word that we would be moving back into the Panhandle area, I asked my mom if she knew any OB that were more relaxed…I specifically told her that I was not looking for a midwife. She sent me the link to GBO and I got very emotional as I looked over the website and read/watched some of the birth stories. I convinced my husband that this is what I wanted and quickly set about contacting the office since I would be 20 weeks once we moved. I got established and the rest of the pregnancy went without a hitch. I had no idea how long I would go overdue since I was induced at 41 weeks with my first. Cindi ended up moving my due date 5 days later based off my original ultrasound putting me due July 20th. I had a lot of Braxton Hicks leading up to 37 weeks and then sporadically have stretches of slight contractions but nothing organized. My due date came and went…that Sunday I had several hours of light contractions about ten minutes apart, I was very hopeful that this was the start of something. I went to bed and woke up not in labor anymore. I was frustrated but at the same time okay with it (I think the reality of having another baby was sinking in). Nothing happened throughout the next couple days. Wednesday evening we went for a family walk and then relaxed after dinner. I started having regular contractions that were growing in intensity, about 5 minutes apart. I tried to go to bed but ended up getting up and making the quiche that we were planning on bringing for the birth food. I called Cindi to update her about 1:30am and at her advice took a bath to try to relax. The bath relaxed me enough that I was able to fall asleep around 3:00am. I would wake up with a contraction occasionally but they were weak enough that I could stay in bed and fall back asleep after. I woke up around 6:30am restless and got ready for my 41 week appointment that morning. I would have some contractions but was able to talk through them. I didn’t bother timing them because after the false starts I had been having I was over it. Cindi offered to sweep membranes which I took her up on, hoping that it would kick start something. She mentioned that it would cause contractions but they may or may not progress into actual labor. Cindi said that because of the early labor I had been having that my labor may be fast and furious. We headed home towards Navarre with the plan on relaxing and seeing what would happen. I was starting to have more intense contractions that seemed to be stacking on each other (again not timing, but this time because I was busy concentrating). I thought that the drive was the longest ever; by the time we got home I ran inside and hopped in the bath. My mom was updated on the way home, and we told her we would let her know when we were heading out so we could pick her up quickly. I was out of the bath hugging my labor ball when my mom walked in, I assumed Joey had called for backup but she had decided to come over based on how I had sounded on the phone. I immediately started getting dressed to go, and told Joey to give GBO the heads up. Joey had set up the SUV so that I could lay/move around in the back (I think I told him I was NOT getting back in the regular seat after the ride home). Now THIS was longest ride I have ever endured. At some point during the ride my water broke and I felt the need to bear down. I told my mom who advised me to take shallow breaths, and she got in the back with me to help calm me. She told me after that she thought she was going to have to deliver Audrey on the way to the center. We made it to the center and in between contractions, I went in. Based on my past experience (pitocin induction), I thought I had a long time to go. My contractions were about the intensity they were with Julian when I was told I was only 3 cm and decided to get my epidural. So with that in mind, I figured I was nowhere near having Audrey. I went from the toilet to the tub and back to the toilet when Cindi suggested she check me to ensure I didn’t have a cervical lip. So I went to the bed and after she checked me I kneeled over the end of the bed and we started to push. I, of course, had lost all track of time and felt like I was pushing for forever. I told Joey I didn’t want to push for hours like I did with Julian…little did I know we were at the birth center for just under an hour when Audrey was born. Pushing was probably the best feeling because I felt like I was working with my labor and not a bystander. Joey got to catch our daughter who was born at 2:34pm. We got to do immediate skin to skin and bond with her. After a few hours we got to go home and begin our life as a family of four. I think my first birth left me feeling somehow that my body was broken, incapable of birthing a baby without interventions. Going through this experience with GBO reaffirmed that I am a strong capable woman!


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The Birth of Kinley Ley

The birth story of Ellory Quinn

The Birth of Emmilia

The Birth of Kairi Celia Belle

Due to several contributing factors with my body my pregnancy was quite a surprise. I don’t like saying my baby wasn’t planned or an accident, the plan had just been for it to be a little later than it was; and we really didn’t know if the plan was possible. When I went to the doctor the options seemed to be more pelvic complications or I was pregnant. The doctor actually said before the test that it was more than likely my typical issues and we talked about trying yet another option. Not that I felt prepared for a baby at that time, but I did pray right there for it. Maybe that was selfish because I didn’t want to deal with more pain than I was already dealing with for no reason. I wanted it to be for something- really, someone. When the doctor came back he was surprised too! I was pregnant! Then reality set in and every thought of “we’re not ready for this” came crashing down. It also didn’t help that the doctor then wanted to discuss with me my high likelihood of an ectopic pregnancy or other complications due to my past surgeries and advised me not to make the news too public as I was only projected to be 4 weeks and 6 days along.

I went home and thought immediately- I have to find a new OB/GYN (I lost count at how many I had seen at number 9- but seeing this doctor last year was the worst. Long story with her basically slitting my insides open unnecessarily while I was 100% conscious). I thank God everyday for helping me find Cindi and Gentle Birth Options. I was nervous because of my history that I wouldn’t be a candidate for an out of hospital birth but when I talked to Cindi she reassured me that it would be fine. Not surprisingly (to me anyway) I had just about every symptom I had heard or read about. My whole pregnancy everyone would ask how I was feeling. My typical answer was always good or at least okay (up until the last 2 weeks or so!); a majority of pregnant women have to deal with symptoms related to it so I didn’t see the point in complaining. I did have some additional pain that others may not have but I gelt like this time it was for something so it didn’t bother me as much.

Flashing forward several months. I saw Cindi Tuesday morning for my first non centering appt. 38w 5d on 4/4/17. We had just moved into our new house the week before and I felt like things were different. At the appointment she said “we might have a baby this weekend, or maybe a couple more weeks.” She also said my baby was very far on the right side and was concerned she may end up posterior during labor. Another woman had just delivered a “sunny side up” baby a couple weeks before she made sure I understood I did NOT want to do that and I needed to lay on my left side exclusively from then on. I of course agreed and just remember thinking, “yeah Friday sounds like a good day.”

That evening was my usual Tuesday night Bible study, I hosted at my house so everyone could see it. My friends all brought wonderful snacks and a cake since my birthday was the next day. Looking back I’m so glad they did so I had a little birthday fun at least. I sat on a ball during the study and was grateful I was at my own home when I noticed I was a little wetter down there. I thought it was a combination of sweat and normal pregnant things. I was huge at this point and sweating A LOT more. I changed clothes and didn’t think anything of it. I went to bed that night around 11pm and set myself up as best I could on my left side (my left hip had been giving me a lot of pain so I really didn’t want to). There was a severe thunderstorm that night and I remember waking up just after 1am to pee and seeing the lightning through the blinds. It was my birthday that day and I had plans to have lunch with a friend who shares my birthday and then to swim afterwards. I had been dying to see what it felt like to swim while pregnant so I was disgruntled by the storm thinking that it would ruin my plan.  I went back to bed as normal not realizing that it wouldn’t just be rain that stopped me from swimming that day. I woke up at 1:40am   I later woke up at 1:40am to a gush of water (thank you GBO for recommending double lining the sheets with shower curtains!!) My first thought was, of course you’re going to share my birthday, thankssss. My husband just asked if I had peed the bed. Ugh! I of course snapped something in regards to do you think I could pee this much!?
Contractions started but weren’t very frequent. I sat on the toilet trying to make sure my water had stopped coming out and texted Katie Murray (my birth photographer) to keep her in the loop and ask some advice. I had thought that contractions would come long before my water breaking so I didn’t want to get ahead of the game and wake up Cindi or Kassie for no reason. She advised me to go ahead and give the after hours line a call. I spoke with Cindi and she said to put on a pad and try and get more sleep- which is what I figured. Each time I tried getting back in bed (twice before I gave up) when I laid down so much water kept coming and I had to keep changing so I got frustrated and paced the floor trying to plan. With just moving I wasn’t completely prepared and still needed to go to the store for several things. I kept telling Kaleb I needed to go to the store and he kept begging me to go back to bed like Cindi said and wait a few more hours. My water was still gushing every few moments so I stayed in the bathroom on the edge of the tub for awhile. I realized I only had one pad left so I NEEDED to go to the store. Kaleb finally offered to go for me but I knew it would be to complicated to explain all the things I needed to I packed and extra pair of underwear in my purse and we went to Walmart around 4am. He dropped me off at the front and as I was getting out of the car there was another huge gush that my pad couldn’t hold. No one was around, it was raining and thank the Lord for black shorts. I hobbled into the bathroom and changed quickly but had to put back on the wet shorts. We went all around Walmart pausing with contractions and checking things off the list. After going home I continued to prepare for my baby to come home later that day. We still had many things in boxes so I was frantic. My mom and sister came over to help with things. Cindi called around 9am to see how I was doing. I hadn’t been timing my contractions but guessed they were about 8-10 minutes apart. Since my water was already broken Cindi asked us to come in for a membrane sweep to stir somethings up. We got there around 10:30am and discussed different ways to move so I could hopefully progress things faster.

After going home and moving on the ball and swaying my hips a lot things really picked up and I started to feel horrible ripping lower back pains with each contraction. Our instructions were to come in when I could no longer talk through contractions. Things progressed and we got to the birth center around 5:30pm. Katie had arrived just before us. Cindi did say she may not end up sharing my birthday after all but at that point I thought for sure she would come before the day ended. Back labor hit me hard and it wasn’t something I was expecting to deal with. Each lightning strike came and felt so unproductive. I had been holding onto the “every surge brings baby closer” and it certainly did not feel that way after the back labor had begun. My team was so amazing though and took turns giving counter pressure to get me through it. Somewhere in all the blur Larissa, the in house chiropractor came in and was comforting as much as possible. I am SO grateful for her going above and beyond like that and for Cindi calling her in.

The birth tub was filled and after trying to relax there for a while I got out. The pain was a bit more manageable it the warm water but I didn’t feel like things were progressing in there. On the bed Cindi checked me and told me she thought I was ready to push. It was just after 10pm. There was definitely a learning curve for this first time mom! I thought I figured it out after not too long and I was still thinking we’d share a birthday. It was about 11:30/11:45 when Cindi said they could see her head! She was almost here and I just needed a few more pushes, or so we thought. As I pushed and pushed and changed positions I was thinking, well she really does want her own birthday, okay.

I remember it was 12:10am when I saw the clock and thought, this is the push!!! We even have a picture of Kaleb’s face excited and happy and me screaming. It wasn’t. And it wasn’t for several more afterward. We continued to change positions and I was truly giving it everything I had.  I remember looking around at Cindi, Christy, Sarah, and Katie and feeling so bad for making everyone have such a long night. As we kept trying new positions and I kept pushing, the clock kept nagging me. I could feel her head only about an inch inside since just before midnight. It was reassuring that the whole time, my baby girl’s heart rate was strong and did not drop.

At about 3am Cindi said I needed to get this baby out or think about transferring to a hospital. I was so opposed of course. I was pushing with every ounce I had left in me and many ounces I didn’t know I had. She let me go two more hours and at 5am we decided to do what none of us want to and headed to the hospital. I was so thankful for Cindi coming with us!

Getting in the car was probably the most difficult part because of the defeated feeling and of course the baby I could feel so closely between my legs. I “sat” with my legs underneath me for the ride there and tried to breathe through the contractions as Cindi has said. That was extremely difficult. My body NEEDED to push and I would say about half of the ride it did. I felt something change after we got off the bridge and thought that I might very well have her in the car. Kaleb was completely silent- at about the outlets I glanced over and saw he was doing the speed limit exactly. I said something to the effect of: “Can you just give me 5 over!?” . After arriving at the hospital getting out of the car was just as difficult as getting in. They wanted me in an wheel chair but I didn’t want to sit on her head so I held myself up. I really don’t know how I had the strength. By the time we got in the room and on the bed I pushed a few times and she was out within minutes. The doctors around had seemed angry when Cindi let them know how long I was pushing but my strong girl was monitored with each contraction after about 2am and her heart rate was constant. I did have a second degree tear but being stitched up didn’t matter at that point. I FINALLY had my baby and with no pain medication or intervention. Baby Girl Howze was born at 6:10am on April 6, 2017. Not the typical GBO birth but I still count it as one. Cindi was right next to the doctor as Kairi was born. I can’t say enough how awesome everyone at GBO is! No hospital would have given anywhere near the support I had from my team every step of the way and I’m confident they would have forced me into a c-section after pushing for a couple of hours with her head showing. After a little over 24 hours we named her Kairi Celia Belle. 💕9lbs 6.6oz 21.5 inches.

Birth Story of Charlie S.

The beginning of my birth story with GBO and Cindi actually started two years ago when I had a positive pregnancy test after having a miscarriage at 5 weeks the previous summer. We had been TTC for several months and had decided to not go the “hospital route” when we actually got pregnant. Sadly I started spotting during my first visit with Cindi at 11 weeks and in the next couple days miscarried. The kindness and support I received during that time cemented the reasons I wanted GBO to handle my next pregnancy and birth. It took over a year to get pregnant with my son (it still feels unreal), and since he was conceived up north it wasn’t until I was about 12 weeks along that I found myself at GBO again.

With every prenatal visit, every time I heard his heartbeat, my dream of being a mom got closer and closer. I refused to obsess or worry over the coming labor and the birth. Instead I focused on enjoying the pregnancy, relaxing, and spending time with family. I looked forward to each centering group while reading as much as I could on natural birth.

My due date came and went, it got down to me and one other lady in my group left (we had the same EDD) and it was a waiting game. I wasn’t very antsy for him to be born (though my husband and other family members were) I wanted him to be fat and ready and other than the hemorrhoids I could have easily gone another week!

My water broke at 40 weeks 2 days at a little before 6pm with no obvious signs of labor leading up to it, no swelling, no mucous plug, no bloody show, and no braxton hicks! He had only dropped the week before. I quickly notified Cindi that my water had broke and kept her notified throughout the night of the labor’s progression. I wasn’t able get much rest after 2 a.m. since the waves were coming every 15 minutes and felt sooo intense. We headed to GBO at 6 a.m. to meet Cindi and start my I.V. and check me, I was only 3 cm! It was suggested I go back home and try and rest and distract myself because it was likely to be a long day. Back home I could NOT relax or nap, it just got more painful so I decided to take a bath and maybe the warm water would help. I wasn’t long in the tub before I started voiding and the waves got more intense. We loaded up again and headed back to the birth center with the contractions spacing 2 to 5 minutes apart. We arrived at around noon and for the next 4 hours the ladies tried me in nearly every position to get him out. Progress was achieved with the supported squat and on my back with my husband and Sarah holding my tight tensed legs back and finally on my hands and knees I felt the “ring of fire” which excited me and a couple pushes later he flew out, my husband catching him. Cindi, Sarah, and Christy were a constant support and encouragement through the whole labor and took such good care of us.

As far as a name went we had gone round and round for months. After he was born my husband actually said I could name him whatever I wanted! We settled on Charles Wright Simmons honoring both our late maternal grandfathers. Happy 3 weeks Charlie boy!


Birth Story of Ellis James

Looking back, I never thought I would have children. It wasn’t because I didn’t like them, I just never saw myself being a mother. Childbirth was also a great fear of mine growing up, which could have contributed to never wanting kids, but now here I am, two months later today (March 7th), a mom, to a beautiful baby boy, whom I love more than anything, and can’t imagine my life without him right now. After my husband and I got married, I pushed that fear of childbirth back in my mind, and pushed myself to accept that it’s a natural process that’s well worth it in the end. Having a natural, unmedicated childbirth at a birthing center, not a hospital, was one of the most incredible experiences I have ever had in my life, and I wouldn’t change it for anything. It’s amazing however, how such an experience really impacts the marital relationship afterward. Those weeks after that birth, my husband and I found our patience tested to it’s limits just about every single day, and night. Yet, we find ourselves even more connected to each other than we ever have been before, and we owe it all to our wonderful baby boy, Ellis.

His birth story begins in May of 2016, where we were surprised with the news that we were expecting. We had been married just over a year, and honestly we weren’t planning on having a child for at least another year or two, but God had plans for us otherwise. It took some time for me to finally accept that our lives were going to change forever at a seemingly young age. But when that fact fully sunk in and I assured myself that my life wasn’t over, but just starting a new and exciting chapter, I was okay.

Those 9 months of pregnancy are almost a complete blur now when i think back at it. Kevin and I were kind of riding this pregnancy cloud the whole time- getting all the baby supplies, building baby furniture, going through birth classes, all while still continuing our normal lives at work and traveling places. We never fully realized that we would be full-time parents soon. Our needs and wants won’t come first anymore and we would be completely responsible for everything this child needs, day and night. Couple of weeks in of having him home, and it finally hits us. We’re doing it, we’re parenting!

I was due January 13th, and I was really excited to have someone else in our family born in January. My husband, his father, his grandfather, my father, and my aunt were all born in January. January 6th comes around, and I am exactly 39 weeks pregnant, and at this point, I’m thinking I’ll still be pregnant for another couple of weeks. Kevin and I were going about our usual day- he did a lot of work, I looked at birth stories for a little bit, and we had dinner & movie night at his parent’s that night. Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark! It was in between the movie when I started to really have contractions. I knew these were the real thing because I was having Braxton hicks for the past couple months, and they started getting more uncomfortable as I near the due date, but they weren’t painful. These contractions started in my lower back, and literally wrapped around the underside of my belly. It was so new to me but the contractions were so far apart during the movie, I was just thinking I had to change my position, and it’d stop, which it did. Movie ends, and we leave their house a little after 10 pm.

Things started to really pick up. As we got home, I started having more contractions. I was doing my best to distract myself and get ready for bed. Around 11 or so, I found myself on the toilet for about an hour and a half, on and off, just constantly having bowel movements. I was also having contractions after every movement. It got to a point where I’m thinking this is so ridiculous, how much more is going to come out?! My contractions continued, and felt closer together so I started timing them on my phone- they were about 10-15 minutes apart. I told Kevin how they continued to get intense and about my never ending bowel movements. He seemed a little anxious, he kept checking up on me because I just stayed on the toilet at this point, I didn’t know if my body was done, and it just felt easier to be on the toilet during the contractions. It’s 12:30 am, and Kevin says he’s going to try to rest now. Knowing this could be it, that we could be having a baby later that day, I wanted to rest too. We remember Cindi telling us to sleep now while we can because we’ll need all our energy when active labor comes.

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t lift my leg over onto the bed without an intense contraction. When I did get in bed, a second later, it hurt so much to be lying down, I got out immediately. It was literally coming in waves, painful waves. I started to pace back and forth next to the bed, the contractions were easier to handle on my feet. Kevin was trying to tell me to rest as he’s half asleep on the bed, but I wasn’t going to dare try to get back in that bed, so I moved out to the living room with my pillow, to try the couch. Well, every time I tried to sit down on the couch, or lie down on it, it would hit me. It was like an intense menstrual cramp that just tightened around my belly and back. I never once had back pain during the pregnancy, so this was a whole new discomfort. I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to rest so badly, but I couldn’t, I just kept pacing the floor, and trying to brace myself when the contractions came. I felt myself getting upset and anxious that this was really happening. I didn’t want to call Cindi, I wanted to see how far I could handle it myself, especially if the contractions stopped and nothing happened.

They weren’t stopping, they felt even closer together. I went in the bedroom to wake Kevin up to tell him, and he says to call Cindi and see what she says. Its 1:54am, I call her and she tells me exactly what I thought she would, to try to sleep through them, to distract myself as much as possible, because it would be a long night. I get off the phone frustrated. Kevin comes out to see what she says, I tell him, and he goes straight back to bed. I stayed out in the living room, trying to rest on the couch. Its after 2am,, and I’m still up breathing hard through the contractions. I remember texting my mom to let her know I was having painful contractions. She replied instantly, telling me I need to wake Kevin up. Before I could reply back, I felt this sudden rush, and before I realized what was going on, I was soaked in some kind of liquid I thought to be my water breaking. It came out so fast and I had no control to stop it. I speed walk into our bathroom as its dripping out onto the floor. I go on the toilet, and even more liquid comes out. I’m doing my best to stay calm at this point. I go back out onto the couch. Couple minutes later I get up again because I felt more liquid come out. So I go back to the bathroom, back on the toilet, and see my underwear is soaked in blood.

I’m freaking out now! I grab the toilet paper to wipe, and there it is, the blood show. Mucous consistency covered in blood, but more blood continued to come out. I jumped off the toilet with the bloody toilet paper in my hands, turn the light on, and wake Kevin up. Poor thing was just as freaked out as I was because he was half asleep with this blood drenched toilet paper nearly in his face. I was getting really upset thinking something was wrong with the amount of blood I was losing. Kevin is trying to calm me down, and telling me it’s okay, the baby is okay. He grabs my phone and calls Cindi. It’s 2:38 and she tells him to started loading up the car. My contractions were really coming in now. Kevin is running all over the condo, getting my bag, packing the baby bag, getting all our snacks. I kept telling myself to breathe through these, but it was so hard. Next thing I know, I start getting ready as much as I can. I left my pajamas on though, there was no way I was going to put real pants on. I felt like I could barely move my limbs without pain. Putting socks and shoes were hard enough. I had no time to put makeup on, or really do anything with my hair, I just felt like I had to go. I come out of the bedroom after I put my cardigan on, and checked the weather on my phone to make sure I was dressed enough for it. It’s in the low 30s, in Florida! It’s 3:38, I’m telling Kevin we have to go NOW. He was stilling getting stuff ready and putting it into the car. I was terrified for the car ride there because the birth center was about 40 minutes away from us. I waddled over to the coat rack to grab my coat, and then I’m out the door. I felt the cold hit my face, but I didn’t care. Kevin sets a towel on my car seat and helps me get in. Soon as I sat down, a contraction came in so hard, I felt my entire body tensing up, and I’m holding onto the car rail above the door so tight. Kevin gets in, and calls Cindi again to let her know we’re leaving.

The ride there was actually much better than I thought it was going to be. When I felt the contractions coming and peaking, I was making myself inhale and exhale with them. I focused on staying calm, and breathing to get through it. And then, I would doze off when the contraction was over. The ride itself was putting me to sleep between the contractions. It was only for a couple minutes, but it felt so nice to finally rest. We arrive at the birth center at 4:20am, the lights are on inside and I never felt more happy to walk through those doors. We walked into one of the birthing suites with one of the birth assistants and it was just so relaxing in there with the dim lights and candles and the sound of water filling up the tub. As we’re getting our stuff in the room, my contractions started up again, and I started undressing. I left my shirt on, but everything else came off, and I’m on the toilet with Cindi sitting in a chair next to me. She gets two small stools, one for each leg, and she tells me to squat.

Oh man, did that ever hurt! I felt so out of shape squatting on the toilet. She then turns my left foot outward, and instantly with the next contraction and pushing with it, my water breaks! And it was a huge gush into the toilet. What happened earlier was apparently just me peeing myself. Man do I feel bad about it now, getting to the birth center before my water broke. They probably thought it was going to be a long night! I continued having contractions on the toilet for a little while. I remember Cindi telling me I can’t get into the tub yet until I’m 6cm dilated. Thinking back at it now, I’m still in shock that I wasn’t even halfway dilated when we got to the birth center. Cindi then helps me off the toilet to do side-lunges on the back end of the bed. Moving into that side lunge on that stool was actually really comforting. It hurt to push in that lunge position, but it was really helping the contractions to hurt less. As I’m doing the lunges, liquid continued to pour out.

I remember looking down and seeing these soaked puppy pads, and the birth assistant continued to replace them. Next thing I know, we’re getting ready to go into the tub. My shirt is off and I put my sports bra on. Looking back I don’t know why I did, I really didn’t need it. Getting in the tub was hard, and the contractions in the water were even worse. It’s crazy though because this was my whole plan to give birth in the water, but it was like the water was pushing back against the contractions. I was not in there too long. Cindi was really helping me on how to push, because I wasn’t doing it right at first. She kept telling me to not scream with the pushing, but to hold my breath in and grunt while pushing!

It was so effective, but it was not easy! It was so hard to not be so loud, pushing with all my might but to be almost silent. I get out of the tub, get dried off, and then I’m back on the toilet. I was feeling discouraged at this point, like I wasn’t progressing because I wasn’t pushing right. I felt really upset, I’m going through these contractions and doing my best to hold in my breath like she said, but it didn’t seem to be working. Cindi then gets her flashlight out and shines it down at the toilet between my legs, and she tells me to reach down and touch my baby’s head. I remember being taken back, like what? Is she crazy, he can’t be there. I do what she says and I feel this small bulb like shape with hair, right there, so close to the outside of my lips, and I’m just emotional. I looked at Kevin who was standing there at the doorway of the bathroom, and I said oh my gosh, honey, he’s right there, he’s so close! I can touch his head!!
And that was it. Feeling his head that close to the outside, gave me the push I needed to push him out. We then move to the bed, and I’m hanging over the footboard, and start to really push with the contractions. Kevin is sitting in a chair in front of me and holding my hand. I was trying harder than ever to hold my breath in, and grunt with each contraction, and then I feel it, the ring of fire. Such a burning, stinging sensation as his head starts to crown. I’m then told to stop pushing. What?! I was told not to push when there wasn’t a contraction. I was in so much pain, and it was so close to being over, it was the hardest thing ever to not keep pushing. But I did what she said. Knowing in my mind, she knows what she’s doing, and I’m thinking this will help me to not tear. That was another fear of mine- tearing and getting stitches. Luckily, during this stage, I never felt like I had to throw up. I just felt a lot of gas in my stomach, causing me to burp up a lot. I remember this was where I was squeezing Kevin’s hand to keep all the urge I had to not push without a contraction. I remember feeling so hot at this stage, I felt sweat on my neck. I remember being asked if I wanted to tie my hair up, but I said no. It really comforted me to have my hair in my face as i’m hanging over the end of the bed. A wave of contraction came, and I gave it all I had to push with it, then it stopped so I stopped. I felt his head immediately get sucked back in when I stopped pushing, and I thought I was going to lose it. He was right there, then back in just like that.

Everyone around me was telling me it was okay, and how great I was doing, but I didn’t feel great. As soon as that next contraction came, I kept pushing harder than ever, that burning pain came back, and I felt myself heating up even more and really grunting as loud as I possibly can, almost screaming at that point. I remember she touched my back, and was trying to straighten it so it was flat. I was breathing so hard, I was ready for this pain to be over. His head was just about out when suddenly I felt the sharpest, most intense pain that I’ve ever felt yet, and I know I was screaming now and I didn’t care, it felt like something else was stretching out my vagina then just his head. I’m still pushing as hard as I can, and screaming and grunting as loud as I possibly can. I felt Cindi stick her fingers in to pull the rest of him out, and he falls into her hands crying, and I’m just in complete shock. I sit my bottom down on the bed and Cindi hands him over to me, and I’m just out of it. I couldn’t believe he was actually out and in my arms right now. There was blood all over him, my legs, on the bed, but I ignored all that. I was just extremely happy and relieved it was all over. He was born at 6:10am on January the 7th, just under 2 hours from when we arrived at the center, and about a week short from his due date. Born at 6 pounds and 13 ounces and 20 and a half inches long.

It was truly an amazing and empowering experience, and I am still in disbelief with myself that I did it! I truly cannot thank Cindi and the birth assistants enough for helping me deliver Ellis James into the world!


Birth Story of Willow

The Birth of Jocose Emory (2/20/16)

The Birth of Jonathan William